Tom says that me coming to visit is like a holiday and he’s excited. I’m like a holiday. I quit talking to Tom back in December, when I went to Florida for Christmas. Patrick and I were still freshly separated. Tom was being a friend, but there’s also this high level of attraction that I … Continue reading June 11, 2019 →

I’m really pissed at you right now. I don’t even have the words to say to you so I quit texting. I needed you today. I am being completely bold face honest (I don’t think that’s a real saying) I really fucking hate asking anyone for anything. Ever. Period. Including stuff that those people should … Continue reading May 7, 2019 →

It’s been almost 3 week of no gym, no food tracking, and no weigh ins. But A LOT of bad eating. Last week was my trip to Nashville with Alisha, it was fun, but we ate out for every meal. The week before I don’t really remember what was going on, but that’s when it … Continue reading April 24, 2019 →

Since childhood I’ve been waiting for someone to save me. I used to look at the planes flying overhead and hope that it was my dad coming back from the Navy to get me and my siblings. When I got a little older I actually used to wish someone would kidnap me, like so many … Continue reading February 22, 2019 →

Ok so I felt sorry for myself for a few days, sue me. Having some mental talks with myself today and I’m feeling a little better. Patrick being in a better financial state than me after we break up really fucking sucks, but it is not his fault, it is my fault because of the … Continue reading February 6, 2019 →

I don’t know how people deal with the stress over everyday life. Are you supposed to get used to it at some point? I am so tired of fighting everyone. Fighting for just wanting to live a happy semi carefree life. Why is this so hard for me to attain? I must be doing something … Continue reading February 5, 2019 →

Frustrations you took out on Patrick. You have a free place to stay. Why would you move? You could move, even after paying off all the debt with your share of the equity. There’s nothing stopping you from going and renting your own place or even saving for what? 2-3 months? And buying another place … Continue reading February 4, 2019 →

Kevin. Man do I like me some Kevin. He, unfortunately, doesn’t like me "that way", but damn the sex is good. If we’ll remember, about a week before Christmas, Kevin came to see me for a little fun while having feelings for someone else. Not huge feelings, they had been seeing each other for 3 … Continue reading January 30, 2019 →

Ok so I’m a fucking psycho. Or maybe I’m just having normal reactions to things. Who really knows…fuck I need therapy. So now that it’s been a few weeks and my life has gotten back to some sort of normalcy, I really don’t miss Patrick very much. I was hitting a really stressful place and … Continue reading January 29, 2019 →

I just want to give us another try. It’s been 10 years and I am not ready to let go of you. Why? Why do I feel this way all of the sudden? I’ve been searching for a way out since I moved to Kentucky. I have been unhappy and felt trapped for the past … Continue reading January 17, 2019 →